“Only in unison are you capable of silencing the voice in your head (fear) that appears to be in disagreement with the Life that you are. And the only thing capable of this tuning process is YOU, which is to say LOVE.”
As I was putting together the Lightsong studio last weekend, I felt compelled to buy this beautiful Fiddle Leaf Fig Tree. I couldn’t tell you why exactly. It wasn’t the ideal choice for the spot I wanted to put it, but I longed for it. So despite my rational mind’s objections, I found a beautiful pot for her and brought her home.
At first I stuck her in the back of the room with the intention of covering up an unsightly outlet situation. A quietly wise friend of the family inquired, “Do you think it’s going to get enough light there?” But I stubbornly left it in darkness, despite a deeper knowing that he was telling me something I already knew and wasn’t ready to hear. I didn’t want to admit to myself that this wasn’t the right location because the plant was hiding what I perceived as an imperfection. Something I didn’t want other people to see.
Two days later, I went to write in the studio. The morning sun cast golden rays across the floor. Warmth spread through me at the sight of it, but not a speck of light reached my beloved Fiddle Leaf Fig. Compassion filled my heart, and my inner voice whispered. How is she going to thrive in the dark, when what nurtures her is over there, in the light?
Bone deep knowing overcame me. It was no longer a choice. I knew what I had to do. I moved her into the sun, exposing what I’d wanted to hide, but not really caring anymore. Because I knew this was love. And Love is who I really am.
Transforming back into the Truth of who we are is a lot like this. Often, half or more of our wholeness is stuffed away in some dark corner to hide what we’ve judged as an unsightly imperfection. Cast out of the reach of our love and light, it cannot thrive. It either grows into a monster we create by caging it in the darkness or gets lost completely.
And the more pieces of our True Self we keep in the dark, the less alive and more disconnected from the source of our power we feel. We end up feeling broken because we have, in actuality, broken off bits of our Self and relegated them to some other place. Divided from ourselves, it appears we are two (or even many) instead of one. And as long as we remain disconnected from parts of our soul, we fear.
But there is hope. So much hope. It’s never too late for a soul recovery mission. In reality, the parts of our Whole Self we’ve relegated to the dark were never monstrous or bad. Only our fear and judgment made them so, an illusion of our own and our collective limiting belief(s). Some might actually call this a lack of faith in Self or Life (which are actually the same thing).
Additionally, the sanitized version of ourselves we allow the world to see is not bad either. This part of us has only been trying to survive societal conditions and constructs placed upon her because she didn’t understand her own wholeness. She is veiled and incomplete, an amalgam of parts deemed acceptable and false masks donned to hide the truth of the radiance and glory of both her scars and her power.
Here’s the spoiler. These parts of you are seeking one another. Longing for each other and pulled by some unknown but compelling force, just like me and the Fiddle Leaf Fig tree. They’ve likely been in the process of moving toward one another for far longer than you’ve been aware. The parts of yourSelf you’ve hidden in darkness long to be loved and found worthy. And the parts of yourSelf you’ve dimmed to make acceptable to the world want to be unveiled and revealed for what they truly are. They want to unite and build a beautiful, peaceful Home in the Love that you are.
I believe initiating this process is as simple as choosing to unite your will with yourSelf (your Soul/ your Life) and committing to the path ahead no matter what comes. That is, as long as you choose to do so with courage, which is to say, you must mean it with all your heart.
Once this process is initiated, the goal of true inner transformation is to release and reclaim. To shed all the false costumes and cages we created when we were still operating out of survival mode and to reclaim all the missing pieces we rejected for the same reason.
In my experience, these processes happen via the mind-body-soul complex in a bidirectional, multiplanar, and collaborative process where three aspects of our Being work together to become One. I like to think of it as Growing Toward the Center, which I’ll elaborate more on in a future blog.
For now I’ll leave you with this. The Dark parts of us seem to experience this three-part pattern as: Awareness, Acceptance, Awe. Whereas the Light parts of us seem to experience this three-part pattern as: Grief, Gratitude, Gift. The dark and light intertwine and dance with one another as they learn to love.
The fiddle leaf fig’s scientific name is Ficus Lyrata. Ficus simply means fig, a tree that symbolizes wisdom and abundance. And Lyrata means “in the shape of a Lyre,” a harp-like musical instrument in which the upper strings are tuned in unison with the lower strings, an octave apart. It’s a truly beautiful representation of the True Self. And it longs to be brought into the light, via the unique instrument that you are.
Only in unison are you capable of silencing the voice in your head (fear) that appears to be in disagreement with the Life that you are. And the only thing capable of this tuning process is YOU, which is to say LOVE. Because only in love, can we understand that All of Us–even the scars and unsightly bits, are a gift. They’ve all been part of the process transforming yourSelf into a primal force of Love, free to sing the song of your heart.